so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
