well most of my day revolves around power hour
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
