There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I am one with the molecules
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
