I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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