I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
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so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
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I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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