Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
