cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
