do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
