By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
