Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
