I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
