I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
