I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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