You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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