Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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