I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
