I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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