that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
