fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
