Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
