In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
