I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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