So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
