he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
