For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
pop tarts are not kleenex
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
