Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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