I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
