alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
