Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
