Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.