Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Non-Jews are for practice

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  (617): Non-Jews are for practice http://tfl.nu/ikoa
  Replies (27) Good night (1300) Bad night (667)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.

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  (305): We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs. http://tfl.nu/e91l
  Replies (14) Good night (3516) Bad night (718)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.

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  (330): Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime. http://tfl.nu/10jr
  Replies (75) Good night (2742) Bad night (615)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.

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  (402): I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song. http://tfl.nu/3qmr
  Replies (15) Good night (6125) Bad night (1265)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.

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  (859): I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay. http://tfl.nu/kwe9
  Replies (29) Good night (4419) Bad night (1831)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.

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  (201): normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek. http://tfl.nu/tra5
  Replies (20) Good night (5618) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just hotboxed my laundry basket.

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  (717): I just hotboxed my laundry basket. http://tfl.nu/rt8k
  Replies (11) Good night (3342) Bad night (1129)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...

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  (763): Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg... http://tfl.nu/nasy
  Replies (44) Good night (2677) Bad night (6566)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.

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  (314): I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again. http://tfl.nu/qrkv
  Replies (4) Good night (1407) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.

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  (815): He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background. http://tfl.nu/8wbf
  Replies (5) Good night (638) Bad night (1777)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?

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  (229): Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing? http://tfl.nu/q7mi
  Replies (6) Good night (2084) Bad night (1042)
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  (559): View more from California

  she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.

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  (559): she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer. http://tfl.nu/y0m8
  Replies (8) Good night (923) Bad night (2029)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN

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  (978): Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN http://tfl.nu/dg4w
  Replies (5) Good night (2487) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?

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  (616): My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right? http://tfl.nu/u00i
  Replies (5) Good night (473) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.

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  (727): My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult. http://tfl.nu/3wr7
  Replies (1) Good night (265) Bad night (480)

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