Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change