I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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