Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors

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(201): View more from New Jersey

we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me

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(201): View more from New Jersey

there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(707): View more from California

You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.

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(914): View more from New York

right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.

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(850): View more from Florida

We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament

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