just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
