Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.