just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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