I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
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I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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