i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
