i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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