Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
