Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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