Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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