That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
