True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
