Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
