It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
