We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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