dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
