So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
