note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
