wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
