She's JV to your varsity
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
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I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!