I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door