So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Can Purell be used as lube?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way