If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
