He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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