you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
