p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
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is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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