the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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