Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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