You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
