how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
