apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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