At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize