They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
