I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
