Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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