shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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