toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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