i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
