went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
