how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
